A state of creation and contraction

I have been in a state of contraction. In this state, there is no room for creativity, creation or flow, not just for me but for everyone. I know have in this state for three months now because everything was painful, everything was hard and in a state of reaction. My inner-critic who I know wasContinue reading “A state of creation and contraction”

InFertility and self-care. Sometimes I just need to stop and enjoy my coffee.

I realize that we all just need to sometimes just stop, go for coffee and laugh at the insanity of it all.  I mean, life is insanity. Honestly, don’t we all just need to stop, have a coffee, indulge in the most gluten, dairy, sugar filled pastry ever and go see people who know youContinue reading “InFertility and self-care. Sometimes I just need to stop and enjoy my coffee.”

I’m bleeding out. InFertility & Mental Health

Fertility and mental health: Female Hormones Can Make a Bloody Mess of Your Mental Health “*Women with infertility felt as anxious or depressed as those diagnosed with cancer, hypertension, or recovering from a heart attack”. (Harvard Review).  I’ve realized that I’ve been writing a bit about mental health. I think it’s a topic that is closeContinue reading “I’m bleeding out. InFertility & Mental Health”

Jackie the movie: The meaning of life

Jackie: What is your criteria for a magnificent life? Priest: Take control of your mind. We are the only creature on the planet that we can make ourselves miserable or make ourselves euphoric simply by the state of our thoughts. PRIEST There comes a time in man’s search for meaning, when one realizes — thereContinue reading “Jackie the movie: The meaning of life”

The two week wait is our Hotel California

The whole thing about infertility that is crazy making boils down to uncertainty and lack of predictability. Every two-week wait (exactly as described in this link) is riding high on what your life will or will not look like after these two weeks. Since I am so overly aware of what is going on, itsContinue reading “The two week wait is our Hotel California”

Five lessons : Finding your voice and speaking up for yourself, part one

Its been three months after the IVF retrieval. I’ve been in Lionness mode over the last three months where I decided to take the whole process in my hands and take control of the uncertainty and lack of predictability. This is where its crazy making, as the process of fertility is a stop….start….stop….start….and wait…..and thenContinue reading “Five lessons : Finding your voice and speaking up for yourself, part one”

No more needles! No more ultra sounds! No more 8am clinic visits! No more of this! Please make this STOP.

commitment to The Clinic. We are talking YEARS if you count the first time I went to The Clinic. It has taken a lot from to surrender to The Clinic and be OK with all of this poking and prodding. I’m so done now. Can something be easy, just a little bit?

IVF Part two – day of procedure

There are a few dates in during this fertility process I wont forget. I connect time with these dates, as everything else feels like a blur.  December 2014 First monitored cycle by the clinic that was without any drugs August 2015 The British Colombia canoe trip that changed my life and my job September 2015 TheContinue reading “IVF Part two – day of procedure”

Lead up to IVF part 1

Let me not lie. It’s not a walk in the park. Holy moly far from it. Once you go past the beginning stages of the fertility clinic, still invasive but nothing pales to IVF. It’s needles, ultrasounds (that a ultra sound every three days or less), more needles to take more blood almost everyday – Let me repeat, it’s a complete commitment.