The journey to fertility has been a long one. The journey to fertility started with the awakening that mothering is something that I wanted to do and experience. Adding children to the mix of me started with the awakening of my soul and little by little got stronger.
It took work, healing old childhood beliefs and understanding where the original thought of being so against having children came from first. I was never that little girl who wanted kids or dreamed about the white wedding gown. I didn’t see and don’t believe my self-worth was wrapped around family and children. A stool has four legs. In our life in order to able to sit we need balance, just like sitting on a stool. When one quadrant is gone, we can still sit one leg but we are wobbly. My four quadrants: Family, Business, spirituality and Social. When one quadrant is shaky, then the others don’t work as well.
Its taken a long time to grow up and feel that there are souls who I have not met yet that have chosen me to come back in physical form. I am a vehicle for their existence but also know they have chosen to come back for a purpose.
I was the one who thought pregnancy would be easy, just stop using protection and less than three months it would happen. It didn’t. This is the whole story of how I got from feeling sorry for women that were pregnant (because I thought they were ruining their life) to the place where I not having children of my own is something I couldn’t imagine not doing.